After last week’s post, I felt that I should put out a guide for everyday people who don’t want to get caught in a church scandal.  We can so easily be coasting along at church without realizing the evil that is happening right around us.  Hopefully, these traits will help you more clearly identify the possibility of evil – not so that you can decry it, but so that you can make sure that you and your family are being fed and growing in healthy, Christ-centered environments.

Before I start, I want to say that I’ve known many, many pastors over the years.  Most of them were beautiful, wonderful people who loved the Lord and to serve Him with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength.  Many also loved people and wanted to serve them well.  However, just because most pastors are healthy doesn’t mean that there aren’t pastors who are on a road toward scandal or at least falling, simply due to the patterns, attitudes, habits, and mindsets that they’ve picked up over the years.

I hope and pray – often – that God will rescue these crash-course pastors before it’s a complete disaster, and especially before they end up devastating or at least hurting people.  However, it’s still up to the individual pastor whether they will allow God to rescue them – if they’ll take the time and energy to repent, change, and risk putting their ministry on the line as they pursue health over reputation in the eyes of their congregations, families, and the world.

More pastors than I wish who have spoken with me have admitted to serious sins in their lives.  Or they know that they’re in small sins, but “it’s ok.”  They don’t seem to realize that small sins leave the door open for much larger sins (Ephesians 4:17).  Maybe they know the difference between reality and fiction, but they’re still filling their minds with sexy movies (this was a real situation, BTW, and no, I’m not naming names because you probably have never heard of these people).  Maybe they know that robbing banks is wrong, but they don’t mind taking a few dollars from the offering plate.  Maybe they are well aware that it’s a sin to lie, but they’ll say whatever it takes to protect the reputation of the church or ministry.

There’s a lot more I could say on that, but I’ll cut to the quick.  You don’t want to be caught in a church headed for scandal – not only because of your reputation, but because you don’t want to be in an environment where sin is not just tolerated but habitually ignored or even condoned.  So here’s a list of things that can point toward a leader headed for scandal.

Traits of Leaders Potentially Heading for Scandal or Falling

1. Inability to Give up Control/Controlling Tendencies

This might include controlling the flow of information, requiring congregants to give him/her information or ask permission before they take secular or spiritual steps, anger or threats when someone acts without their authority/leadership (including accusations that the person isn’t under authority), micro-managing every part of the ministry, refusal or inability to delegate tasks, browbeating committees or parishioners to agree with them, etc.

2. Spiritual Abuse

This might include insistence that they are the spiritual authority in parishioner’s lives, praying things that they believe is good for you vs. what God is speaking or revealing to you, giving words “from the Lord” and then insisting that the person or everyone accept and toe the line of their word, considering their revelations as good as or superior to the Bible or what God is speaking/revealing to others, insistence that they must hear God for you or that that you can’t hear God clearly for yourself, or barring certain people from ever being “spiritual” (at least publicly) – especially if the people can only become more visible by going through a series of hoops or Biblically-sketchy requirements first (I’m not saying it’s wrong to go through ministry training before being allowed to be on the church’s ministry team, for example).

3. Denying Accusations by Putting the Blame on Others

Of course, we all like to defend ourselves.  But a clear sign of something going wrong is that whenever the leader is judged, corrected, or accused, they attack the character and motivation of the speaker or shift the blame to others.

4. Arrogance

Think others constantly saying how “humble” the leader is, refusing correction, an unusual focus on themselves/their ministry/their spiritual children (and often promoting these people/entities, even if they have serious character issues), entitlement mentality, patronizing behavior, dismissive of others’ suggestions or experiences if it doesn’t fit with their own experience, consistent history of belittling those that don’t agree with them, insistence that their experience or advice is the most valid, etc.

5. Lying

Manipulating information or truth so that it looks a certain way, only giving enough information to make something seem a way that it isn’t (especially in terms of decisions – they present the information such that committees decide to agree with the pastor’s choice), hinting or even saying half-truths that lead you to believe something false about other people in the congregation, saying whatever is necessary to protect the reputation of themselves or their ministries, etc.  This one drives me crazy, because liars are included in the list of those who won’t get into heaven – along with homosexuals, adulterers, and witches (1 Corinthians 6:9 & Revelation 21:8).  And there’s no distinction between white liars and out-and-out liars.

6. Flaunting or Hiding Behind “Accountability”

If there’s anything that we should be learning from the accountability movement, is that accountability doesn’t work.  If a leader is constantly citing or speaking of their accountability, chances are that they have very little – or none.

7. Shutting Down any Disagreement or Descent

If someone disagrees with them or questions them, their motives, actions, etc. they’re quick to point fingers, disfigure the person’s character, or accuse the person of being “Jezebel,” “disobedient,” “a gossip,” etc.

8. Expecting Admiration, Honor, and Respect

I’m all for taking care of and even honoring our leaders.  But when they expect it – and even punish those who don’t – we’ve created a wooly-clothed monster instead of a shepherd.

If you see one or more of these in your leaders, move forward with caution.  One instance shouldn’t be enough to make you leave a church or ministry, though it should raise red flags.  But three instances, where it’s undeniable?  And the leader isn’t repentant?  Run!  Fast!  Don’t retaliate by smearing the leader’s name, but it’s also not wrong to – with honor – tell people why you left if they ask (just make sure it’s with honor and respect).

Also, remember not to go on witch-hunts (which, if you’re not familiar with the term, means to go looking for something wrong and often seeing what you’re looking for by confirmation bias rather than truth).  Just because someone appears to have lied to you doesn’t mean that they’re about to make a baby with someone who’s not their wife.  Give some grace.  And don’t be too quick to point fingers.  But also pay attention – and if there are more of these red flags, you might want to consider no longer attending or supporting the ministry.