Most of us have the privilege in life of creating an environment around ourselves. The environment where we have influence may be very small – extending about as far as our own attitude – while others are responsible for creating an environment that is much larger (for example, an entire company). Sometimes, we’re only partially responsible for a limited amount of time (such as an individual at a family gathering or part of a work team), while other times we hold great sway in the environment around us – I expect most of us would be surprised and chagrined if we realized just how much our own attitudes, words, and actions impact those around us.
Interestingly, the environment we create around us says a great deal about how we view God. Our view of His character, His attitude toward us, and how He works will directly impact how we treat others around us, not to mention the policies we create for ourselves and others. Let me give some examples. (All of the following situations are fabricated with made-up names and circumstances.)
Suzie goes to a church that believes God is distant yet demands complete obedience – or else judgement will fall. As a mother, Suzie often finds herself being overly demanding of perfection from her children.
Josh is a devout Christian who has experienced God as full of joy, delight, and even has a sense of humor. Josh’s coworkers say that working with him makes them happier than working with other people on the team.
Sherry loves God and has experienced Him often throughout her life as a comforter and friend. Her coworkers say that she feels “safe” and even share secrets and private parts of their lives because they know she’ll care.
At this point in Evan’s life, he is fixated on the narrow road that leads to life. Few find that way, and Evan is determined to be one of those exclusive few that God allows into heaven. At the grocery store, he examines every piece of fruit and every package, refusing to buy anything that isn’t perfect. It’s only right that the store should sell things that are in perfect condition, even if causes issues with other shoppers as he meticulously takes forever to get his shopping done, sometimes blocking aisles or even holding up the checkout line as he complains to the cashier about his inability to find food that meets his expectations.
Shiela is the CIO of a company. She has been taught that God only gives us what we need to survive. If she really needs grace, He’ll give it to her with a sigh, wishing that she could take care of it without asking for help. Shiela finds herself thrifty to a fault, especially with her employees, becoming annoyed or even angry when they come to her with too many questions.
Gary has been through a lot in life – including an illness that makes it difficult for him to hold down a job to support his wife and kids. Through all of this, he’s seen God provide and prove faithful over and over again. He’s very likely to take time out of his busy schedule and even his doctor’s appointments to help his kids with whatever they feel is important at the moment.
Julia struggled in her teens and twenties to trust God. Through intentional surrender and following after God, she has found Him to be trustworthy and a much better manager of her life than her own plan. Friends tell her that her ability to trust them has helped them to trust themselves and recover from situations where their trust was broken.
I could go on and on with examples. But you get the idea – these hypothetical people believed something about God (good or bad) and that belief has recreated itself in their own lives, for better or for worse. It impacts their lives, their friends, their families, and their coworkers and work environments.
You might say, “That’s personality. A funny person will find humor in God, and he’ll also be funny with his coworkers. Or take Gary – he’s the type to take interest in his kids, so no wonder he also sees God taking interest in him. You see God in what you are, yourself.” Personality can come into play – God does meet us where we’re at and reveals Himself to us in ways that we can see, accept, and engage with Him (Psalm 18:25-26). But it goes much deeper than just personality or our own pain. The things we believe about God – intentionally or unintentionally – affect our personality, too.
The good thing about knowing this principle is that when we see things in our lives that we don’t like, we can then take a good, hard look at how we look at God in a similar area of our relationship with Him. He has the power to not only set us free, but also to help us walk out the repentance from the lie that we believed about Him. I’ll give you one more hypothetical example.
Jered has noticed recently that he has a very short fuse – people annoy him, and he’ll simply blow up, often unreasonably so. He goes to God and asks Him to show him where there is a breakdown in their relationship that is affecting his own short fuse. God shows Jered that he has become perfectionistic in his relationship toward God, believing that he must work hard in order to please the Lord. This started because someone let Jered down badly, and he took his pain and decided that he, himself, would never let other people – including God – down like that. Jered forgives the person who let him down, repents of his works-based attitude, and walks out this repentance with Christ, frequently thanking God for accepting him as he is. Within just a few days, Jared notices that he’s less likely to get annoyed or angry, even at major inconveniences.
I hope this helps you address any of your own frustrations with the way you treat people around you – choose a true, honest perception of God, and you’re much more likely to have your environment right, as well.