Have you ever noticed that when you’re around someone you start to act like them?  It’s an age-old occurrence, documented in the Bible (Proverbs 13:20, 12:26, 22:24-25, 1 Corinthians 15:33), etc.).  Plenty of cultures and wise people have also noted the relationship between choosing poor friends and going down the wrong path – or, alternately, choosing good friends and walking a righteous path.

When we come across people in daily life, it’s tempting to treat them pretty much the way they treat us.  It’s not a “tit for tat” situation; it’s human nature to meet people on their plain – be it grouchy, kind, petty, generous, or otherwise.

I remember being on a bike trip quite a number of years ago and meeting what I would assume was a high school teacher.  He was absolutely furious that the trail had been rerouted around a construction area.  This little annoyance had made him lose the trail and had totally wrecked his day.  We were also unsure of where the trail went, but up until that point, I’d simply been enjoying crossing the river via bridges that weren’t part of the trail and wondering where the trail would go from here.  After our brief meeting with the high school teacher, I remember fighting feelings of hopelessness and anger, worrying that we wouldn’t find the trail again (we did eventually find it, but it wasn’t where the signmakers said it would be).

Even the limited interaction with this man spread what he was feeling.  I had hoped that we could spread a better, more hopeful future for him.  But he was headstrong and plowing forward, I definitely felt sorry for the other couple that was with him – not to mention his wife.

When we tolerate sin in our own lives, a somewhat similar phenomena occurs.  Those around us are impacted by our sin, and they are tempted to treat us as our sin treats them.  This is most common in terms of poor attitude choices, blaming others, and failing to love as Jesus loved.  For example, if someone tolerates an attitude of ungratefulness in their life, it is very easy for those around them to be less grateful for this person and their contributions to the relationship.

This morning, I was praying and asking God why I was having so much trouble forgiving a friend.  It’s not like this person doesn’t deserve forgiveness.  “It’s because they have forgiveness issues,” God explained to me.  “So they create an atmosphere of unforgiveness and invite those around them to not forgive them.”

This friend’s issue doesn’t absolve me from forgiving them.  Far from it!  No matter how bad an attitude or how many issues someone has, you and I are still responsible for our own thoughts, actions, attitudes, and spiritual growth.

But if we want to act in love toward those around us, we must act and live in such a way that our “life plain” – so to speak – helps them to live in a Godly way.  “Do unto others as they would do unto you” (Matthew 7:12) is the space in which we find ourselves loving others, but it’s also the space where we help others to live out their fully potential in Christ.

So if you want to be treated with love, don’t tolerate hate in your heart.  If you want to find abundance around you, treat others in a generous way.  If you desire peace, deal with chaos in your own life as quickly as possible.  If you want to love the truth and want to help others love the truth, refuse any semblance of a lie in your own life.

“If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18).