It’s been said that manipulating and controlling other people is essentially witchcraft against the person under the control.  It’s also been said that manipulation and control is nothing short of cursing the recipient.

I know from experience that Christians can both create Godly realities through faith and manipulate and control others for ungodly ends through the power they have in Christ (James 3:10).  This is why it’s essential for us to be in tune with God’s heart and to pray with submission to God and His plans.  (For more on that topic, read this post.)

Often, control and manipulation is a two-way street – the initiator tries to get a receiver to do or be something that they wouldn’t otherwise.  But for the manipulation and control to happen, the receiver has to agree with the initiator, at least to an extent.  When the receiver agrees with the initiator, they are choosing to honor the initiator more than they honor God and God’s plan for them in their lives.  This is why it’s also important for those on the receiving end to also be in tune with God’s heart. (Romans 12:2; John 15:7)

In short, when someone is attempting to be an initiator of control, manipulation, and possibly witchcraft or a curse, they are trying to assume a position of authority when they do not have that authority in the receiver’s life.  They then try to control the receiver in one way or another – sometimes through prayer, sometimes through manipulation, and sometimes by asserting their authority, real or imagined.

Signs of this type of witchcraft in a relationship include a lack of peace, lack of peace or security, lack of confidence or courage (in yourself, in others, or in God), weakness or lack of endurance, and a lack of resolve or resolution.  This is more than personality traits or insecurities; it’s chronic and often debilitating.

So what can you do if you find yourself in the position of either initiator or receiver?

If you find yourself convicted as the initiator of control or manipulation, first and foremost, ask God to forgive you.  Pray that God will show you any rebellion in your life (1 Samuel 15:23).  Then ask God for His heart for the receivers, and pray His will over them.  Ask God to help you trust Him instead of controlling and manipulating others.  And finally, stop participating in the manipulation and control.

If you find yourself in the receiver’s position, with others trying to control and manipulate you, the first thing you can do is not cooperate with them.  This isn’t rebellion against God or against them – rebellion is like the sin of witchcraft (1 Samuel 15:23), and it will lead you into sin instead of out of it.  But there is a way to either distance yourself from the controlling person or else firmly but gently cling to God’s will for you instead of this person’s will for you.  Be sure you know your identity in Christ, what He thinks about you, and where He is leading you.  Many people who find themselves under control and manipulation are looking to the initiator to be their identity in some way – Christ is the only person Who can fill that need in your life.  And be close enough to God that He can direct you if He wants you to go in a direction you hadn’t originally planned.